The Story of Mario Nintendo doesn't want to reveal
by ELGRECOPHILO
Summary: This is the true story of Nintendo doesn't want you to know about. Keep this confindential or Wario might charge at you
1. The Legacy Begins...

LYING, BETRAYAL, AND A LOT OF MEATBALLS ****

LYING, BETRAYAL, AND A LOT OF MEATBALLS. THE TRUE STORY OF MARIO

Disclaimer: This is the story of Mario Nintendo doesn't want you to know about. If Nintendo sues me, I will get Johnny Cochran on there @$$.

Mario and Luigi were resting in their apartment in Brooklyn. They were both unemployed but Luigi was the only one dedicated to finding a job.

L: Check this out Mario, how about models? We… uhh… I have a killer body and I can go far with it. At least that's what mom told me.

M: mouth stuffed with about 5 meatballs mhhhhmmm… modeling great…

L: OK, how about flight attendants?

M: swallows meatballs Dude, that's what chicks do, seriously.

L: OK, how about plumbing? Plumbers get paid a lot. We could buy a house.

M: Luigi. That is the stupidest idea I've ever heard. Stuffs 10 more meatballs in mouth

L: Well at least I'm trying to find a job. You're their eating meatballs.

M: As a matter of fact, I found a job. But they said I have to eat twice my bodyweight in meatballs.

L: Whatever, I'm applying us both for the plumbing job. And that's that

So they stuck with the plumbing job for about 3 years until the president was forced to make layoffs and surprise, surprise, they got fired

L: Great, we finally get a steady job for three years, make a nice income, then the economy goes POW. Now we have to go back to job hunting

M: And I can go back to my first love. Come here you tasty, meaty… balls

L: Whatever, hey look there is an acting job. If I'm chosen they'll put my name on the game. I can't wait. Super Luigi World. How does that sound?

M: It sounds like me chewing on 20 meatballs.

L: Ok… well I'm applying

So Luigi applied but wasn't getting a response. After a year, he finally gave up and went job hunting again. Mario found a job as a meatball tester but got sick from the new idea of cheddar meatballs. He got sick and was forced to retire. They were unemployed until one day they got a Phone call.

Phone: Is Luigi there.

L: Speaking

P: Well the original star for our acting part had a fatal heart attack. So you are the other pick congrats.

L: Speechless… Mumbling

P: I'll take that as thank you. I almost committed suicide but then you called and now I won't thank you thank you thank you. I'm at room 134. Come visit me for manly love.

L: hangs up Mario I got a part for the acting gig.

M: That's great let me show you how much I care. Does nothing

The next day Mario and Luigi went to the acting place and Luigi was ready to act

Director: Ok, we need you to make an Italian accent

L: Ok. Luigi tries to do his best but is no good at making an Italian

D: I'm sorry mister Luigi, but frankly, a monkey up a mule's ass could do a better job then you could. Frankly you are going to amend to nothing. This was the only thing holding your self-esteem from completely disappearing…. And you blew it. We'll find a replacement.

Luigi starts to cry. He cries so hard that he could support an ocean. He ran back in the car so he won't be seen by anyone else. Mario upon seeing his brother cry tries to convince the director to give him another chance.

M: Uhh… mister director I…

D: you must be the replacement. Ok try saying stuff in an Italian accent.

M: actually, I just wanted to ask you to…

D: Italian accent!

M repeats in an Italian accent

D: That was brilliant. You have to be the star of this. Super…What's your name. Looks at nametag Ah yes… Super Mario World.

M: well… actually… umm. Ok sure

Mario just betrayed his brother. How could he? Check out Chapter 2 of the true story of Mario. Coming soon.


	2. Mario's Affair

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER TWO

Mario headed back to the car obviously feeling terrible and the sight of Luigi crying made him feel worse. He couldn't tell Luigi but sooner or later he'll find out. Mario almost went into tears himself but stopped himself.

M: Relax Luigi. You could go to this place Sega. They have an opening

L: reads paper Do I look like a hedgehog to you

M: takes a good look at Luigi no… Yes…No…Yes…No

L: Give me a straight answer.

M: No… Ye… No… Yes

L: starts weeping more If I only practiced my Italian accent…

M: No…Yes…No

L: It's because I'm ugly isn't it

M: No… Luigi if I was homosexual I would fall for you right away

L: Gives strange look do you really mean it

M: Yes…No…Yes… Maybe

L: Now what am I going to tell Peach. She's going to dump me for sure

M: I wouldn't say I would fall right in love with you it's just…

L: I mean I've been unemployed for two years. We're on our tenth mortgage. I mean… Mario… did you notice we've been parked for 10 straight minutes

M: weeping Yea…Yea I have

The next day the phone starts to ring and it is none other then Mr. Miyamato himself. He said he'd need him to rehearse today at 3. Today was an important day. Mario was really worried what he was going to say to Luigi.

M: Luigi I'm stepping out for a while

L: OK… I'll be here killing my self-esteem.

M: OK… Have fun tall buddy

Mario made it to the rehearsal and was doing fine until he heard a beautiful yet familiar voice.

M: PEACH! What are you doing here?

P: I got the princess role. Isn't that grate we're going to pretend being in love

M: Yeah… pretend…

MI: Ok lets get this show on the roll

M: IT-SA ME. MARIO

After a two-hour rehearsal, Mario was heading to his car only to be approached by Peach.

P: Hey Mario. I was thinking you could come over my house for… rehearsal

M: Hell Yeah… I mean I guess let me tell Luigi an excuse… I mean that I'll be late

After Mario tells Luigi an excuse, he goes to Peach's house to "rehearse"

M: Hi Princess

P: Sexy Hello Mario

M: I heard Bowser is around these parts

P: sits on Mario's lap you'll protect me right Mario

M: stair into her eyes of course

It took no time at all. They were making out. Mario betrayed Luigi for the second time. What will he do next? To Be Continued…


	3. Revealed

M: LUIGI

M: LUIGI! I'M GOING OUT!

L: OK. I'll see you later

L: Wait, I have to give the car a wash.

Luigi goes out to the car and starts wiping it. He cleaned the inside of the trunk and as he closed it, his overalls got stuck. Mario then started the engine.

L: Wait! Mario! Don't start the car!

But it was too late. Mario was already going dragging Luigi with him.

L: Scrapes face on street STOP! OW! STOP! MAAARIIOO! WAIT! WHY ARE YOU GOING TO THE AUDITION STUDIO? OWWWWWW!!!!!!

Suddenly the car stops and Luigi unhooks himself out of the trunk and goes inside to see the biggest disappointment of his life. He sees Mario walk and hug the director. Then he sees him kiss Peach.

L: Uhhhhh…. That's only a courtesy kiss. Sees them kiss longer and on the lips and starts to go back home. 

After the Practice:

P: I have to go Mario. I'll see you later. Are you going home as well?

M: No. I'm going to help Mr. Miyamoto. I'll catch you later

It took three hours for Mario to finish and to get home.

M: Luigi, I'm home. I saw Peach. Sees Luigi with Peach Oh, you did too. OK, I'll let you guys go at it..

L: Turns around and gives a visual of Peach tied up and him holding a Cougar magnum Why don't you stay a little bit longer Mario. Throws Mario to the bed

L: I've worked so hard to get that part. And you took it away from me. Is this true?

M: Uhh.. Yes… no…yes..No..

L: shoots a bullet to the ceiling SHUT UP. Give me a reason why I shouldn't shoot you right now.

P: I'm your girlfriend.

L: shoots peach at the chest Ernt!!!! Wrong Answer. WAS my girlfriend! Turns to Mario What about you Lard-Boy.

M: YOU SHOT PEACH. YOU SHOT PEACH. WHO's going to play the princess asshole?

L shoots at Mario but misses. Mario starts running. He shoots at Mario 3 more times and misses until he trips Mario on the floor TIME TO DIE BIG BRO. ARE YOU SAYING YOUR PRAYERS?

M: Yes…NO…Ye

L: Gives a scream and pulls the trigger but was out of ammo NO. NO. This can't be.

M: What a rip. I soiled myself and didn't die. Uses his uppercut to knock out Luigi then calls 911 Hello 911, my bitch is hurt.

911: Did you do it?

M: Yes… he shot my girlfriend, I think she's still breathing. Help!

After about three minutes the police came and helped Peach and arrested Luigi. But got out with bail.

The next day at practice, Mr. Miyamoto announced that Luigi could be that co-star and since Peach was hurt. They got a replacement for now, Daisy.

And the rest, is history…


End file.
